This is a contributor’s blogpost …
There comes a point in a relationship where you’re at a crossroads.
It usually happens when you have been together for a while, at least a year in most circumstances. You probably live together. You’re happy, he’s happy. And the relationship seems like it has the building blocks of something that is going to be made to last.
It’s around this point that many couples find themselves thinking about getting engaged. Although times and attitudes have moved on, there is still an overriding sense that the proposal will come from the man to the woman, excluding the occasional leap year. While this is quaint and traditional, it can leave women in something of an odd space. Is he thinking along the same lines? Is there a surprise proposal coming? Would I say yes if there was?
Often the matter will resolve itself. Many couples think about these things in private, but oddly synced up, so that the proposal is soon forthcoming. But what if it isn’t? What if you’re ready to get married, but there’s no sign of any movement in that direction from your boyfriend?
Option 1: Propose Yourself
Who cares about tradition? If you want to get married and there’s nothing from his side, then there’s nothing stopping you from getting down on one knee and making the proposal yourself!
Option 2: Hint
If you’re less comfortable with the idea of bucking convention entirely, then why not drop a few hints to ensure his mind is thinking in the right direction? You could be overt by dropping a few mentions of how much you like Verragio engagement rings, or referring to him as your fiance-to-be. Or you could be more subtle, talking about the future and implying that you’d expect you’ll be married when certain life events happen.
Option 3: Ask Him
If you’re looking to be honest, then asking him what’s happening is perhaps the best idea. It’s not an easy conversation to have, especially if you fear you might hear something you don’t like. However, it does break the stalemate and give you a clear direction about where your relationship is heading. If you’re thinking marriage and he’s not, then there’s clearly a discrepancy that you’re going to have to work through.
Option 4: Ask His Friends
If you’re close with any of his friends, then a word in their ear might give you some idea of what your boyfriend is thinking. Most guys will discuss their plans with their friends. They might even solicit help when it comes to rings and how he might want to propose. Bear in mind they might not tell you for fear of spoiling an upcoming surprise, but it should give you some idea of the direction your boyfriend is aiming at if you ask them to be honest.
Realistically, the situation is a delicate one that has no easy answer for all relationships. Go with what you think your boyfriend will respond to best, and remember, you have a right to know what the future holds – so don’t be afraid of seeking answers until you find out what you need to know.